Now that children are back in the classroom, are they really learning the lessons that will help them succeed? Many child development experts worry that the answer may be no. They say the ever-growing emphasis on academic performance and test scores means many children aren’t developing life skills like self-control, motivation, focus and resilience, which are far better predictors of long-term success than high grades. And it may be distorting their and their parents’ values.
Dr. Ginsburg draws a crucial distinction between hard work and simply getting an A or “being smart”. The research suggests that praise for a good effort encourages harder work, while children who are consistently told they are smart do not know what to do when confronted with a difficult problem or reading assignment. Academic achievement can certainly help children succeed, and for parents there can be a fine line between praising effort and praising performance.
Ginsburg notes that parents also need to teach their children that they do not have to be good at everything, and there is something to be learned when a child struggles or gets a poor grade despite studying hard.
One strategy is to teach children that the differences between easy and difficult subjects can provide useful information about their goals and interests. Subjects they enjoy and excel in may become the focus of their careers. Challenging but interesting classes or sports can become hobbies. Subjects that are difficult and uninteresting are just something “you have to get past”, Ginsburg says.
Outside school, parents have many opportunities to teach children about focus, self-control and critical thinking.When reading to children, for example, ask them what a character is thinking or feeling. That simple exercise helps develop perspective, an important social cognition skill.
“Perspective taking helps with school readiness and literacy,” Galinsky says. “The child has to understand a teacher has a different perspective, their friends have different perspectives.”
In young children, playing board games or games such as Simon Says or Red Light, Green Light can help develop focus and self-control.
And in older children, parents willing to put in a little extra effort can help children develop critical thinking skills rather than just answering their questions.