My daughter is 14 years old. She was recently invited to a party at a friend’s house. The problem is that I don’t really know the parents or the other kids very well. I am also worried about the level of supervision. The girl throwing the party has older siblings who will probably be there so there will be teens of all ages there which increases the chance that alcohol and other activities will go on.
I don’t want to be an overly strict mother, but I don’t want to let my daughter go to parties yet. I believe that there is enough time for that. The problem is that my daughter says that all of the other mothers are letting their kids go. She hasn’t been speaking to me for the past two days. The party is this Friday night. What should I do?
Teens frequently tell their parents that all of the other parents are letting their kids do things with the hope that this will persuade us to give consent.
The most important issue is for parents to be comfortable that “you are making the best and safest decision for your kid”, regardless of what the other parents may or may not do. Your kid may learn from you that the group decision is not always the best decision. There will be plenty of times now and in the future when your kid will face peer pressure. If your kid sees that you are able to stick to your individual opinion, they may be able to follow your example when faced with peer pressure.
Parents have a right to the decision as her parent. You can get to know your kid’s friends and their parents. You will have many more requests for party permission and sleepovers in the future and you will need to make informed decisions.
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