Stop Yelling So Your Kids Can Hear You

Yelling at your kids just makes you a “poster adult” for temper tantrums. Doing this unfortunately also gives your kids the message that you are not in control. It is also crucial to understand that kids feel unsafe when they perceive that their parents have no control. When you yell your children will likely either yell back or act out in some other negative way. As a…

My Teen Says All the Other Parents Are Allowing This

My daughter is 14 years old. She was recently invited to a party at a friend’s house. The problem is that I don’t really know the parents or the other kids very well. I am also worried about the level of supervision. The girl throwing the party has older siblings who will probably be there so there will be teens of all ages there which increases the chance…

Listening: A Key to Successfully Guiding Adolescents

You know who knows more about your teen’s inner life and environment than you do? HE DOES. In their struggle for independence, kids sometimes reject parental advice precisely when it may make the most sense to them. They are so uncomfortable with how much they rely on us, that circumstances that remind them of how much they need us may stir rebellion. Parents are most effective when…

Should Parents Really Trust Teenage Children?

Most parents feel like adolescence is the most difficult to stage to navigate, though a handful of parents actually prefer this stage above all others. The mind of a teenager is certainly a mysterious place, and their behavior often sends the parents running for the hills – or indulging in a very infrequent homicidal fantasy. Parents of all demographics who felt anxious and frustrated during their kids’…

Parenting: Your Children Send Messages Too

Your children are constantly sending you messages that you may or may not be getting or interpreting correctly. Your ability to receive and understand those messages can help you send the best messages in the best way to them (and when to stop sending messages or change your messages). Children are incredibly good at sending their parents messages about how they are doing at any given…

Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future

  Psychologist Joseph P. Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it’s the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference. “We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground,” he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners,…

When Parents Disagree About Their Adolescent

The problem of parental disagreement starts from the child’s birth when diverging ideas about child rearing unexpectedly arise. As father, one parent will be influenced by his own male training growing up and this may bias his perception and approach to a son and daughter. So maybe he believes competing hard and performing well is what matters most. As mother, the other parent will be…