Lifetime Development

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“Helicopter Parents”? “Monster Parents”? “Free-Range Parenting?” – Part 2 – I Am Not a Monster Parent

Definition

“Monster parents” is used to describe a group of super-aggressive parents continually find fault with the way teachers treat their kids, and suggest unreasonable ways in how they can do their jobs better. They are “super-aggressive army of complainers”.

Monster parents can also refer to parents who repeatedly make unreasonable demands to their children’s school and prevent it from functioning normally.

Origin

The term “Monster Parents” is from a TV series named “Monster Parents”, produced by Japan’s Kansai Telecasting Corporation. The stories in the series are the observation of the real life situation in kindergartens and elementary schools which reflecting the growing problem of parents interfering school affairs and teacher’s teaching. They use the term “monster parents” because those parents act like the monster “Godzilla” who can create chaos at school in order to protect their children.

Background

The rise of Monster Parents may be the consequences of

  • the changes in social values as the rapid economic growth
  • the demand of high quality of life
  • the rise of education-levels and high-pay jobs among parents
  • the growing lack of respect for the teachers
  • One-child family
  • the worry of their children being lagged behind others
  • the rise of individualism
  • the idea that one should say what they want to get
  • the rise of consumerism – advocacy of the rights and interests of consumers – Parents, as a consumer at school.

Characteristics

The common belief and practice of monster parents:

  • Teacher as a personal nanny
  • Academic performance is all their concern
  • My child is always right
  • Others (especially teachers) cannot discipline my children. But if my children’s achievements or character is not good, the teacher must take a full responsibility.
  • Spoil their child excessively
  • Money can do everything

Five Difficult Types of Parents

1. The Defensive Parent

A student sneaked into a closet in his classroom and hid there. The teacher frantically searched for the student. When he discovered the student was in the closet, he reported the incident to the principal’s office. To avoid disciplinary action, the student claimed to his parents that the teacher locked him in the closet. The parents complained to the principal, and the principal instructed the assistant principal to fire the teacher immediately.

It’s easier for parents to blame someone else for their child’s academic, behavioral or social issues, than to admit their child has a problem. And their child’s teacher is often the target.

 

2. The Demanding Parent

A teacher had a student in his class who would have benefited more from a remedial class. But her parents insisted on placing her in his class. Because the student felt pressured to live up to her parents’ expectations, she plagiarized a homework paper. The student’s parents seemed more concerned with her grades than with the knowledge and skills she attained in school.

3. The Over-involved Parent

The mother of a student left twenty-minute messages on a teacher’s voice mail every day. Listening to them consumed his entire free period. She would also show up at school unexpectedly. He would walk into his classroom and find her waiting to speak with him.

4. The Uncooperative Parent

A teacher received a call from the mother of one of her students. The mother requested an extension on her daughter’s art project. The project was due the same day as an Advanced Placement exam, which the mother considered a higher priority. The teacher said she could not make an exception for the student. Displeased that the teacher refused to honor her request, the parent scoffed, “This is art, not brain surgery.”

Parents will ask teachers to excuse their child from a test or assignment because they have a conflict, whether it’s a ballet recital, hockey tournament, or work for another class, they’re sending the wrong message to their child: your class, or school in general, is not a priority.

5. The Absent Parent

Laura Taylor *, a first grade teacher, said parent-teacher conference day was basically a day off for her. “If five parents showed up, it was a lot,” she said.

Consequence

Children with monster parents usually have the following features:

  • Unable to take care of themselves
  • Low emotional quotient
  • Low resilience
  • Poor interpersonal relationship
  • Impulsive regardless of the consequences
  • Instant gratification
  • Lack of direction and goals for their life
  • Lack of a sense of responsibility

Possible Solution

Parent-teacher cooperation can cultivate a healthy growth of children. Hence parents can try to do the following points:

  • Empathy – the best mode of parent-teacher interaction is being considerate of each other.
  • The appropriate means of communication with the teacher
  • Do not criticize the teacher in front of the children – Have a private talk with the teacher if there is a problem with the children.
  • Try to accept the views of the teacher – when a teacher made recommendations on children, parents should listen, think and observe their children. Instead of defending the teacher’s viewpoint, parents should keep calm and think critically to see if the teacher’s advice is helpful to solve the children’s problem.
  • Offer the help to school and teachers – parent’s volunteering.

 

Source:

http://www.cnngo.com/tokyo/life/japanese-parents-overprotection-goes-overboard-978148

http://teaching.monster.com/benefits/articles/9762-how-teachers-can-work-with-5-difficult-types-of-parents?page=2

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Monster_Parent

http://www.worldjournal.com/view/full_news/8051352/article-《社會傳真》你是不是怪獸家長?-?instance=wjweekly

http://mypaper.pchome.com.tw/zen/post/1322709584

http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/怪獸家長

http://blog.tjjh.kh.edu.tw/haneul/index.php

http://blog.tjjh.kh.edu.tw/haneul/index.php?load=read&id=10